EATING CROW

Well, every so often I have to eat my hefty helping of crow.  For those of you who may not be from the US, Wikipedia describes "eating crow" as American colloquialism that means, "humiliation by admitting wrongness or having been proved wrong after taking a strong position."

As all of my readers know, I have very strong opinions and am not afraid to express them here on this blog.  This week (already, and this is only Wednesday) I came face to face with my "inner hypocrite".   I know all to well what the apostle Paul was saying when he wrote, in Romans 7:15 New American Standard Bible (©1995)

"For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."

Here's what happened:  On Monday morning I went to the post office to pick up a package that I was expecting.  It was raining hard and I didn't really want to be out and about.   There was no close parking space.  So I zipped up my parka and walked from the end of the parking lot toward the door of the building expecting to have to wait in a long line.   Just outside the door I saw a woman on a cell phone.   She stopped me and asked if I had jumper cables for the car.   I quickly responded "NO" and continued inside.  From the moment I said "no" I knew that I was wrong.  Immediately I tried to justify my response 5 different ways but that fact is that I had lied.  I had plenty of time that morning to help someone.   But I was too selfish and in a mood of self-preservation.  Why?   because I didn't want to be bothered.  Now here's the thing;  If someone needs help I should be available to help them.  I've talked about that before.  But I wasn't even willing in this case.   I wasn't looking for the opportunity so when it came I responded without even thinking.  And my response was wrong.  Oh sure, I could schluff it off by saying, "I'm only human" but that doesn't make it right.

When I went inside the post office I noticed no line just one person ahead of me that the clerk was helping.  I had all of two minutes to evaluate my response to the woman outside.  It felt like 10 minutes(It's amazing how a guilty conscience works.)  I kept looking out the window at the woman as she kept dialing different phone numbers trying to reach someone.   I decided that after I picked up my package I would go out and offer to help whatever she needed help with.   At that moment the postal clerk offered to help me.  He got my package and as I turned to leave I looked out the window again, this time hoping to see the woman, so I could help her out.     But she was gone.  I felt a little dejected.   I do hope she found someone to help her.   Or maybe it was just one of God's angels here to test me and teach me a lesson about myself.   I don't know.   I only know that when I left there was no sign of her anywhere.  No one was sitting in cars, no one was walking in the rain.   There was just no one in sight.   And because of the location I'm pretty sure I would've seen her if she were walking away or was setting in her car.    

At any rate.   I was a little perturbed with myself and had to get to a point of self forgiveness with a plan so that the same mistake doesn't happen yet again.  I decided that I really need to go about my day with the expectation that someone may need my help at some point.  I think God uses us to help others and he gives us opportunities to do so.  If I was expecting to come across this woman (or anyone) that needed help I would have readily said, "Yes, I have jumper cables.  Are you having car troubles?"  So that's my practice tip for the day.   A difficult lesson I had to learn.   Live your life with expectation of the opportunity that God can and will use you if you make yourself available.

Well thanks for reading,

mobius faith

The image above is titled DARKNESS HAS TWO FACES.   To me, I see two different facial profiles back to back.